This is a true story that just happened to me only a few weeks ago. Some red flags are more obvious than others, some you might not think are red flags, but you might learn a few things to look for or what you can change in yourself to get a first date. So, tell me in the comments below if you agree with how many red flags I found and I'll send you a discount code to my store.
Here we go, how many red flags can you find on this first date?
We had only messaged each other two times when Mike asked me to go to a concert the following weekend. I'm usually much more cautious about going out that fast, but I was desperate to get out and since I love music I decided to take a change at this opportunity and said yes.
When the concert day arrived I made sure to get to our pubic meeting place 10 minutes early, just in case. Mike arrived 30 minutes late. He pulled up right behind me and got out of his vehicle, I could see him in my rear view mirror and the man that stepped out was nearly twice as heavy as the pictures online. Since heavy people don't bother me, I got out and shook his hand. Sized up the situation and felt I was okay to continue on the date.
Honestly, the love of music and the opportunity to go to a concert was out weighing the red flags to this point, so I hopped into his vehicle and off we went to the concert. After we arrived and walked up to the front doors, I discovered that they were still locked and that they don't open for another 2 hours! He knew this and didn't tell me that we were arriving 2 hours early, so he can get in line. The tickets are assigned seating, so standing in line for hours doesn't change where we sit and is just a waste of time to me. To top it off, he ignored me the whole 2 hours and talked to others in the line, sometimes walking off, leaving me standing there alone.
Once we finally got inside he turned to me asking if I was hungry, I replied that I was and we went to get food. I asked if he wanted his own meal or if he wanted to share something, he said that we can share chicken strips and fries. I agreed. After getting the food we wiggled our way through the crowd and found our seats on the 8th row. He sits down, turns his massive back to me, blocking the food completely and proceeded to eat everything, he didn't even offer me a fry.
Finally, the concert started and I started having fun, but there was an extremely drunk man sitting next to us that was being rude and obnoxious. For the most part, we just ignored him and enjoyed the concert. Then he got very loud and started heckling the singers, screaming obscenities' and telling them to get off the stage and never come back. I waited for Mike to say something, but he just looked the other way, so I stepped up. I reached over and popped him on the shoulder, just enough to get his attention and told him to be nice. At first he was annoyed, but I then explained that we're here to have a fun and have a positive experience and would like him to stop being negative because the bands worked very hard to get on that stage and that he couldn't do any better. He immediately calmed down and apologized. The rest of the concert was a blast.
After the concert we headed back, he started quizzing me on the bands and names of classic music. I told him that I'm not good at band names, that I just love the music. He kept quizzing me. I mentioned again, that I won't know these answers and he started picking on me. He started asking me questions again and I again told him that I really don't know band names. Then he started harassing me and never let up all the way to the park-n-ride.
It felt like forever, but when we finally arrived back at my vehicle, I jumped out and headed to my drivers side door. Unlocked it and tossed my purse on the front seat. Suddenly he was right next to me, wiggling his way between me and my vehicle door, to block me from getting into the vehicle. He large size basically squeezed me into the bushes next to me, I stumbled into them and nearly fell over. When I turned around he had his hands on the door and side of the vehicle, completely blocking me from getting in. That scared me and I wanted to freak out, but knew that wouldn't help in any way, so I took a few deep breaths and stayed calm.
He started small talk, but it was 1:30 am and I hadn't eaten anything since I ate a Toaster Pastry that morning for breakfast. I was tired, hungry and annoyed. Seeing way to many red flags to feel comfortable talking to this strange man that late at night in a nearly deserted parking lot. I took another deep breath and humored his small talking for a moment, then said I needed to go. He asked if I wanted to go on another date. I hate hurting peoples feelings, but I felt this time I needed to make sure this guy had a definitive answer and gave him a gentle, but solid no. Gratefully he then moved to the side and let me get in and get away from him.
So there you have it. How many red flags did you find? I'll now show you my answers below. Do you agree?
Flag 1: There are a lot of sick people out there that prey on desperate single females. Taking sometime to get to know an online prospect and then speaking to them over the phone is important to do before a first date. One of the rules I have in place is to make the fellow send me a quick video of his face and him saying my name, so I know that who I'm actually speaking to is really the person on the profile and not someone that is just trying to scam or catfish me. In my experience, there has been way more scammers and catfishing accounts than real people on dating sites.
Flag 2: If a man can't respect you enough to be on time to a first date, he won't respect you in a relationship. You deserve a man that can be reliable.
Flag 3: When someone's profile photos don't represent their current self, they are basically lying. Misrepresenting who you really are speaks volumes about what you think about yourself and how little respect you have for the person you're wanting to date.
Flag 4: Standing in line for 2 hours, for no apparent reason and ignoring the person your dating the whole time is selfish and rude. A little heads up would have been nice or a discussion on the time line would have been courteous.
Flag 5: What kind of man agrees to share food with you, then selfishly eats every single bite? I don't know ... I was so perplexed by this behavior that I just sat there staring at his back with my jaw nearly hitting the floor? Does anyone have any answers to this behavior? Maybe his was really that hungry? I would have been fine buying my own food, he just needed to tell me.
Flag 6: A man should be able to protect his date, not make her step in and do it. That man was getting belligerent, was inappropriately touching me and could have become a threat if someone didn't calm him down. It shouldn't be up to the woman to take care of a potentially dangerous situation.
Flag 7: If someone doesn't want to talk about a subject and gets harassed about it, instead of just changing the subject ... well you know! Don't pick on your date people.
Flag 8: Never block a woman from getting into her car, this will throw her into fight of flight mode and you might not like how things turn out. Most women I know immediately think they are going to get raped or killed when a man blocks her from escaping. This will never get you a second date.
Tell me how many flags you agree with and why? I would love to know your opinion. I asked several of my friends about this situation to make sure I wasn't being to sensitive and they all agreed that I should never date this guy again.
Do you think I should give this guy a second chance?
When I was young I had so many dates with Red Flags but did not know what to do about it.Now, after almost 20 years of marriage and realizing ALL the Red Flags I missed, my heart was screaming as I read this…. the 2 hr wait line I was screaming “leave girl – leave!” to my computer! Having said that, I have not gone on dates for this very reason. I’ve gone to some MeetUp app events and that feels safer, but even there I hae run into “creepy Joe’s.” NO – no second chance on that guy at all! RUN!!! It’s better to be alone than in a bad situation.