When a woman hears the words, “You need a double mastectomy,” time often seems to stand still. It's more than a medical decision. It's a moment that begins an emotional journey that few women are truly prepared for. A journey filled with fear, loss, and questions about identity, femininity, and the future.

Breasts are more than just a part of the body. For many women, they symbolize motherhood, sensuality, womanhood, and self-expression. The thought of losing them can feel like losing a part of who you are. It’s not vanity, it’s vulnerability. It’s mourning the body you've known, loved, and lived in, and facing a future that looks and feels unfamiliar.

There’s fear of the surgery, fear of complications, fear of recurrence, and fear of how others will react. Will my partner still find me attractive? Will I feel comfortable in my own skin? Will I ever feel “normal” again?  These questions weigh heavily, and often, silently. Many women keep smiling on the outside while battling anxiety, depression, and grief within.

After surgery, looking in the mirror can be jarring. The scars are physical reminders of trauma, but they also tell a story of strength and survival. Still, the mirror can feel cruel in the early days. Clothes may fit differently. Confidence can shatter. Sexual intimacy might feel foreign. It’s not just about what’s gone, it’s about redefining beauty and worth beyond appearance.

It’s common to feel isolated during this time. Friends and family may mean well, but not truly understand. Support groups can help, but many women still feel alone in their experience, especially if they don’t know anyone who’s walked this path before.

True healing from a double mastectomy must include the mind and soul. Counseling, journaling, support groups, and honest conversations can be vital lifelines. Finding ways to reclaim control, through reconstructive surgery, beautiful tattoos over scars, or proudly choosing to remain flat.

There is no right or wrong way to move forward, only what’s right for you.

I personally chose to stay flat. I don't have a man in my life right now, so there was nothing to consider there and was able to chose what I wanted for myself. I did my best to look at the positives of being flat.  I survived a cancer scare, I don't have to tug and pull with the discomfort of a bra anymore and, my personal favorite, all that money I'm going to save not buying bras in the future. 

The freedom I feel by staying flat and not having to wearing a cumbersome bra everyday is so great it's hard to describe. I'm so happy with this decision. 

I did get a sporty and a supportive looking set of bras with prosthetics just in case I need them.  It's been a few years now and the only time I wore the prosthetics was at my late boyfriends funeral. 

If you're preparing for or recovering from a double mastectomy, please hear this:

You are still whole.

You are still beautiful.

You are still you, braver and stronger than ever.

Allow yourself to grieve. Be patient with the healing process.

Never be ashamed of the scars that tell your story.

You are not alone. 

You are more than enough.

Resources for Support:

• BreastCancer.org Forums Flat Closure NOW
• FORCE: Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered
• Local breast cancer support groups and mental health counselors in your area

Presented by: Coach Trina at Dragoyle.com